the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
