So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
