You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
