The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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