Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
