OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My underwear smells like fireworks.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
