quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
