eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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