sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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