I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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