If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
