Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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