Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
