i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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