Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
