Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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