I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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