why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
