hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
