You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
