i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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