I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i've created a new STD.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
