i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
