Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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