ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
