Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
