My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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