Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
