i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
