Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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