So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
