i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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