I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
