Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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