it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
