i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
