I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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