Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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