Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Terrible idea I love it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
