1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
