i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
