Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
