We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
