it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
