**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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