also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
