also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish i was in the wii world.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
