so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
