I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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