in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
