I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
